Silence

I have so much to blog about, but I don't know how to start it.


This blog is a little diary of mine, places that I kept my memories. Somehow, I can't blog much about it because it might offend some people and create some unwanted misunderstandings. I couldn't care so much about it anymore, especially now because I really need to write my feelings out.


I knew some people really do care about me, especially you, di. We really had our sweet time last year; talking, fighting, playing, emo-ing, joking, fooling is what we always do. You were always be my good listener when I need someone to talk to. You listen to the shit I talked, gave me advise and sometimes you emo at me because I was too stubborn. We even promised each other our close relationship won't change when we are in college. But time really can change a person. You really disappoint me today when I wanted to share something with you, seeking for your advice. I really didn't expect you to be like this no matter how our relationship changed. Your words really hurt me a lot. Sometimes you purposely make me angry to tell you the truth. But what happened today is totally different, you look like a stranger to me now. I don't know where to find you back anymore, and I guess you will not call me jie anymore right no matter how much I want our relationship used to be like last time. I really miss those days I called you, crying on the phone telling you how upset I am. I really miss those days 3 of us playing in the class like nobody's business. Friendship is forever. Is it?


I finally touch a guitar today, it doesn't belongs to me but I love it so much. I never touch my guitar for 2 months, I even stopped learning it. I used to take my darling out and started to strum or whatever when I'm sad. I abandon my darling for 2 months and today I get to sayang him (fyi, guitar is my 2nd boyfriend :D ). I really miss playing him, I miss playing Qing Tian, I miss having class with Miss Pei Yee and Martin. My fingers hurt a lot after this, but I feel much more better. I really can't live without you darling :))) oh between, I learnt a new song today, Your Call.


I met this person recently. This person used to give me bad impression but now I know this person is not what I think about. Well, everything happen real fast and I can't really accept it until now. It is like a dream to me. I don't know you well enough but I will try to understand you well someday no matter how long it takes. Thanks for trusting me, trust is important between 2 people right? About those unwanted past and stupid rumours, I know you don't mind. But I do mind a lot actually, because I do not want to affect you. I knew what people talk behind me, it was long time ago and I used to it already. Sorry for making you disappointed, I hardly open my heart to others anymore after so much things had happen. I really don't want to be your burden :)